


happiness is (not) a dog in your bed...

by black_queen (hotch_fan)



Series: Eccentric Superhero Boyfriends [7]
Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan), Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Banter, Bruce likes to pick up strays, Canon - Movie, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Dogs, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, Kissing, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Making Out, Mild Sexual Content, Non-Graphic Mention of Animal Abuse, Pets, Reluctant Pet Owner, Stray Dogs, Swearing, Teasing, Tony can see right through Bruce's bullshit, and he's definitely keeping the dog, because Tony is in it, pet adoption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-21 23:11:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6061663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotch_fan/pseuds/black_queen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"There's a dog in my spot."</p><p>+ Sequel <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/6895285">here</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	happiness is (not) a dog in your bed...

**Author's Note:**

> Posted today to celebrate Bruce Wayne's birthday ;)
> 
> Edit: Check the bottom of the page for the link to the sequel.

Tony pushed open the door of the bedroom, stopping dead in his tracks as his eyes came to rest on the bed. He blinked, looking from Bruce to the other occupant of the bed.

"There's a dog in my spot."

Bruce looked up from the laptop resting on his lap, reaching up to take off his reading glasses and looking at the man standing in the doorway.

Normally, Tony would have made a teasing or sultry remark since, as Bruce had oh-so-helpfully showed him not too long ago, glasses were something of a turn on for him. Or maybe it was just Bruce and glasses that had that effect, Tony wasn't sure. Buuuuut. Dog. Big Dog. Lying in _his_ bed.

"Tony. What are you doing here?"

The dog--a large, dark German shepherd--had raised its head from where it had been resting on its front paws, half of its body resting on Bruce's stretched legs. It wasn't until Bruce placed a firm, yet gentle hand over its body that the mutt stopped growling at him.

"There's a dog in my spot," Tony pointed accusingly at the intruder, ignoring the other man's words.

Bruce rolled his eyes, closing the laptop and placing it one-handedly on the bedside table, his other hand rubbing the dog's fur. "He's not in your spot."

"True. But that's just because your bed is gigantic," He came to a stop still a couple of feet away from the bed, looking at the intruder with narrowed eyes. "You have a dog now, huh? That's nice."

"I don't. I found in during patrol the other day. A couple of goons were beating him up."

Tony arched an amused eyebrow. "Oh. So the big bad Bat is gonna rescue puppies and kitties now?"

"You think I should have left him there."

"Oh please, don't be melodramatic," Tony waved his hand. "I think is great that you rescued the poor thing from those brutes. I'm just wondering why you brought it here instead of, I don't know, the vet or a shelter. And most important, _why_ is it on our bed."

"It was well past midnight when I found him. Not a lot of places open. And he was injured."

"Okaaa-y. So, were you, at least, a good boy and asked Alfie if you could have a dog pretty please?"

Bruce shifted slightly on the bed, hazel eyes flickering away from Tony's.

"You just showed in the cave with a dog in town--a street dog and hurt one at that--without a warning to your faithful butler and just expected the poor man to patch it up because of course you did." Tony shook his head with a grin. "You're just lucky he worries too much about you to quit.

"I bet he was ecstatic about the whole thing."

The corner of Bruce's lips twitched upward as he kept petting the dog's head. "Ecstatic isn't quite the word I would use."

"I don't see why not. And I'm sure he's just as _delighted_ as I am about you having a fleabag and God only knows what else lying on our bed, in our soft and clean skill sheets."

"I bathed him first."

"Oh. You mean you didn't ask Alfie to do it too."

"Of course not."

"Of-fucking-course you did," Tony gave him an amused look. "Baby, I love you, but you have to admit you're pretty useless on anything that doesn't involve beating bad guys to a pulp or playing detective. And business too."

"Is that so,"

"Yep. It's a good thing you're so pretty, Brucie-bear."

Bruce rolled his eyes but said nothing.

"You know," Tony started as he walked closer to the bed. "We talked plenty of times in the last couple of weeks and yet you didn't think to mention anything about your new acquisition."

Tony eyed the dog warily as its dark eyes followed his movements. It didn't seem particularly interested in attacking him or some crap like that, but he still moved slowly, not wanting to spook it. He'll rather not end with a nasty bite or even fall on his ass, thank you very much.

"That's because I'm not keeping him." Tony gave him a curious look. "I will keep him here until he recovers, then I will take him to the pound."

"Hmm, well, you let me know how that works out."

After taking out his shoes, Tony slipped into the bed, choosing to stay on his side for the time being. The dog began growling softly, but a few gentle slaps on its back silenced it. Tony gave the dog a smug look.

Slowly, Tony moved closer to the other man, working some creativity into his movements to get close to Bruce without his body touching the dog or disturbing it. After some writhing he ended up besides Bruce, sitting with his legs crossed in front of him and their shoulders almost touching.

"Hey, cupcake. Do I get a welcome kiss?"

He didn't get an answer- not a verbal one that is. Bruce shifted his position slightly before closing the gap between them, his hand coming up to wrap around his neck as he pressed their lips together in a kiss that soon turned deep and slightly rough; with a bite or two and tongues pushing and sliding together.

It didn't seem to matter how many times they had kissed before; having Bruce so close never failed to make his heart pound hard and fast against his chest or his breath caught in his throat.

Tony pulled back slightly, his forehead still resting against Bruce's as he planted one last soft kiss before pulling back further.

"Mmm. And what's the mutt's name? _Come on!_ Don't tell me you have been calling it 'dog' all the time it's been here," Tony added after a moment of silence. "Please tell me you haven't."

"Ace."

The corner of Tony's lips curled up as he saw the dog's ears twitch at the sound of the name, its head turning to look up at Bruce.

"Ace? As in the playing card or what?"

"I don't know, Tony. Just Ace."

"You suck at picking names, you know. If we ever have a child, I'm picking the name, got it?"

Bruce rolled his eyes. "That coming from the man that named his bots DUM-E and Butterfingers."

"Excuse you, those are freaking cool names, okay? I chose them based on the aptitudes of each of my babies and not just because I couldn't think of anything better."

The dog chose that moment to nudge at Bruce's hand with its muzzle, clearly resenting the lack of attention of the last seconds. Tony rolled his eyes when Bruce's hand went to the dog's head; stroking the ears softly.

"Alright. What would you call him, then?"

"No, no, no. I'm not messing with that. It's your dog, not mine."

"He's not my dog."

_"Riiight."_

With a last pat on the dog's head Bruce lunged toward him in a move that should have been awkward to anyone but the goddamn Batman, almost ending at Tony's lap as both of his arms slide around his neck and to the back of his head, his mouth doing a wonderful job to spark interest on the rest of his body.

Tony's initial outrage at Bruce's blatant diversion from a discussion he was totally winning lasted all of two seconds before he remembered how long it had been since they were together--since they even saw each other--and how good this felt. So, he just opened his mouth to let Bruce's tongue enter and slid his hands down Bruce's body, only to jerk his hand away and break the kiss with a curse when he felt something wet brush against his fingers.

The damn dog was sitting there, looking at him straight in the eyes with the offending pink tongue lolling out the side of its mouth.

"Okay, this isn't working. You need to get this dog out."

"Are you serious."

"You should know by now it's against my nature to be serious, cupcake, but I mean that. Get it out."

Bruce looked from Tony to the dog and back, a well-groomed eyebrow arched. "I think this is a good time to remind you of what you told me when I mentioned I was uncomfortable having sex with JARVIS around."

"Okay. But that has zero to do with this. You can't just compare a highly intelligent and complex, but ultimately incorporeal A.I. with that," Ace lowered his head, his dark ears folded making Bruce glare at Tony who sighed exasperatedly. "Look, I don't care if the dog wants to stay to see the show. Just get it out of the _damn_ bed."

"Come on, Ace," Bruce called getting out of the bed. The dog jumped from the mattress, tail slowly starting to waggle as it walked after him. Bruce led Ace to the door, opening it and signaling for the dog to step outside before closing it again.

It seemed pretty well trained for a stray dog.

"Happy now?"

"Ecstatic," Tony deadpanned. "Now come here, sweet cheeks."

Bruce complied with a smirk, sliding slowly up his body until he was straddling him, sitting on his legs as he worked to take off Tony's shirt and tossing it aside. He lowered his head to trail slow, sloppy kisses over his chest and up to his collarbone. Tony panted as Bruce trailed his wet tongue on the side of his neck before biting down, eliciting a moan from Tony and making him rock his hips back and forth faster. Tony moved his hands to Bruce's hips, stroking and grasping the soft, warm skin as he threw his head back, giving him more room to suck and kiss.

He was just starting to work Bruce's pants down when they heard a muffled howl from the other side of the door, soon followed by the distinctive and annoying noise of scratching at the door.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me."

His only answer was a whine, clear in spite of traveling through the thick wooden door.

"I'm sorry," Bruce murmured against his lips, giving him a quick kiss before pulling away reluctantly. "I'll make it up to you."

"You better," Tony growled. He rubbed a hand across his face before rolling over and out of the bed. He walked toward a drawer and grabbed a pair of pajama pants before slipping into the ensuite bathroom without looking back at Bruce or the damn dog. He closed the door firmly shut behind him.

He took off his jeans and socks and dropped them to the floor with a curse. Tony looked down at the bulge in his underwear. He contemplated the idea of giving it a few good strokes to get it over with but dismissed the idea, slipping into the thin, pinstripe pants he had picked instead. He brushed his teeth quickly, and by the time he pulled the door open he was more tired than annoyed.

Bruce looked his way as he came out the bathroom, but said nothing, his hazel eyes following him as he crossed the room and made his way to his side of the bed. Tony stopped in his tracks, looking down at the dog sitting on the side of the bed, on the large rug.

"What the hell!?"

"You said this is your bed too, so he's waiting for permission."

Tony frowned down at the dog before looking back at Bruce. "You can't be serious."

Bruce shrugged, a small smile playing on his lips.

He looked back at the dog, with its big brown eyes and lowered ears. It seemed to be pleading with him, making Tony narrow his eyes.

He never had a pet as a kid; wasn't even sure if he had ever wanted one at some point. Probably. Every kid wanted one, after all. His father hated dogs, that much he remembered. And when he was older he was more interested in robots and tech than pets. Bruce didn't have one either. Not while his parents were alive and definitely not after they die. Tony looked back at Bruce, watching and waiting.

"Fine! The dog can sleep in the bed. But it better not make a mess."

"He wouldn't," Bruce assured him with a wry smile before looking down at the dog, patting the matters. "Come, Ace. Up."

The dog jumped on the bed with one last wary look at Tony, making him snort. The mutt walked to Bruce's side, licking and pushing at his hand with its muzzle, tail wagging slowly. Bruce raised his hand to fondle its ears, making the dog close its eyes.

Tony slipped into the bed, and very pointedly did not comment about how 'he wasn't keeping the dog anyway, right?' as he slide closer. He wasn't a snuggler and neither was Bruce, but he also wasn't a fan of sleeping on opposite sides of the bed either, so.

For the second time that night, he felt something wet and unwelcome brush his hand. Tony jerked his hand away, popping up on his elbows to glare at the dog. It was lying down between them, its head resting on its paws as he looked up at him.

"Don't say a word," Tony warned.

"I wasn't going to," Bruce said all too quickly. That and the light note in his voice belying his words. "Goodnight."

Bruce leaned forward to give him a chaste kiss, settling down again and reach out to switch off the bedside lamp, plunging the room into darkness.

The damn dog stayed right where he was all night.

**Author's Note:**

> The idea of this fic was initially inspired by this little detail I read on [IMDb](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000288/bio?ref_=nm_dyk_tm_sm#trademark): A devoted animal lover, Christian has two dogs [Mojo and Ramone] and three cats [Miriam, Molly, and Lilly], which are all strays that he found. And then, by the wonderful photos I found. Just Google Christian Bale and dogs. There are only a few photos, but I promise you wouldn't regret it. And let's not forget [this lovely scene](http://baledaily.tumblr.com/post/26983556007) in Equilibrium.
> 
> Lastly, this is unbetaed and I'm not a native speaker so feel free to point out any mistake you may find.
> 
> Sequel [... but it may just as well be a cat in your lap](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6895285).


End file.
